My life started as a child born from a child and abandoned in the hospital in 1973. My mother was supposedly 14 years old when she was brought into the hospital she left 12 hours later when her parents came and took her away from me. I went to a foster home as a baby and was later adopted by that same family. My adopted dad was my best friend and we did everything together. My adopted mother... not so much. She was always verbally and mentally abusive and once told me she wished that she had never af adopted me. That was hard for a 8 or 9 year old kid to take and it's haunted me for 40 years. I think her abuse was one of the reasons I started searching for my biological mom when I was 40. I had prayed that if it was God's will that He would guide me in all my search. After nearly a year I was able to find her through DNA! I also found out that I was the product of incest. My mother had been molested by her older brother. I can only begin to tell the shame and worthlessness and anger that i felt, all rolled into one! Asking God WHY was at the top of my list. There's so many more parts to my story that shows the miracles of God in my life and how He was with me through it all. How He answered my WHY question and gave me a new purpose and new meaning in my life. He also taught me how to love unconditionally and forgive the unforgivable. My life is now wrapped up in a specific Bible verse, Deuteronomy 29:29 The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but those things which are revealed, belong unto us and to our children forever...
Stevie
Wow, Stevie.
How He answered my WHY question and gave me a new purpose and new meaning in my life. He also taught me how to love unconditionally and forgive the unforgivable.
What an amazing story you have here! I am sad for the experience, but very happy for your newfound purpose and the growth that you experienced. It is amazing what happens when you finally allow Love to enter and surrender the pain to that love.
Hi Stevie,
My mom used to tell me that she wished I had never been born. She said a lot of mean things to my siblings and me, always picking on us like a bully. I just don't understand why parents can be so mean. I have a kid, and I don't do that to him. The sad thing is I picked a husband who does. That is really hard for me, but he is his father. I divorced him, but my kid is left to hear his words. It pains me, but the courts don't find verbal abuse as actually abusive. I know better, and from your post, you do as well. Unfortunately, I have concluded that the only thing I can do for him is to counter the words his father tells them with good stuff.
I am glad you have found peace and purpose. I hope that I can do the same.
@jaysmom That has to be really hard to have to counter your son's dad like that. I am glad that you are able to do that for him, though. I have a huge feeling that you are doing will have a huge impact on your son. When I was a kid, my mom told me all sorts of terrible things. In her eyes, I was never going to amount to anything. She degraded me constantly, and my older brother joined in with her, making it even harder for me. While I still believed what she said, I did have some counter visions of myself through people at my church who cared about me. The first time I really felt that I was valuable was when I was living in a foster home between 14-16 years old. DSS was going to put me in a children's home for troubled teens, but there was no space, so they put me in a foster home to wait for a bed came open. When that finally happened, I overheard my foster mom on the phone telling them that she wanted to keep me. She said that I was too smart and too good of a kid to put in that place, it would ruin me. That was the first time I had ever heard someone place value on me, and I'll tell you that day I felt like I was on top of the world. It didn't sink in for many years, but I never forgot that moment, NEVER!
Please keep it up jaysmom...it helps more than you can know.
@kimi24 This is very similar to what my son's dad does to him. I know that my son has issues because of this. I thank you for telling me about that moment in your life. I try to tell my son all the time the good things I see in him. I just hope my countering hits deeper!